THE ONE WITH A HYSTER SISTER

(I guess I had written this and never posted it.  So why not do it now.). So, I had a hysterectomy in December 2018.    That was weird at first.  Who am I kidding.  It's weird now.  I feel like I someone stole my purse.  It carries/carried some of my most precious items.  After my surgery my youngest son asked me how I was feeling.  I told him I was okay.  He then asked me how I felt without my "baby holder" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Of course initially I cried.  I mean I was drugged, and hormonal.   Which isn't saying much because I may not be drugged daily(that's debatable), but I'd say I am insane and hormonal most days.  I just embrace it.  I am getting better though.  Other drugs, exorcism, and some "special" balm have given me some major improvements.

After the good cry,  I wanted to tell him I felt a good riddance to that baby holder.  I don't need it anymore, it's causing me grief, and to top it all off... no more periods!  Be jealous.  It's heaven.   I should've gotten rid of that thing years ago.   Fetch, who wants a baby holder anyway.  Okay.  Okay.  I take that back.  That thing gave me a lot of good years.  Some pretty amazing boys.  The relationship was great while it lasted.  I just don't have a need for it any more, and since it had grown completely to my abdominal wall, and every time I moved it was like tape ripping off the wall,  I was happy to bid the disaster adieu.  

I do find myself in a conundrum though.   When did I turn 60 and need a hysterectomy?  Bodies.  (eye roll emoji)  Can't live with em,  can't trade em in for a different one.   I always tell my cute hubs that "my body hates me"  I never feel happy about it.   It infuriates me some days.   I actually struggle with joy in general.  I feel like if something happens, then I need to pay a price with my sorrow first before I can be happy.  THAT MAKES NO SENSE.   Like I have to be sad about losing the baby holder before I can be happy about it out of respect or something.  What make believe standard am I holding myself to?

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